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Christmas Chaos

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I always knew Wesley, our two-year-old, was a needy, high-maintenance child. He usually has something going on: not eating, throwing up, still needing a paci, always needing someone to play with him, cries at night, very demanding, bad attitude, etc. But when he got a fever a couple days before Christmas, I don’t think I knew what I was going to have to deal with. The whiny attitude and constant attention wasn’t new but this was rough. Then on Christmas Eve and Christmas, we had to deal with diarrhea in the bathtub, throwing up, screaming because he dropped his dinosaur, demanding someone always be holding him, telling me he needs medicine, blowing out all over his clothes, not being grateful for presents, and to top it all off, we got stuck in traffic and had to throw in laundry asap from all the vomit and poop that came out.
We were driving back to our house Christmas night, stuck in traffic, and I started to question my life. Who am I as a mom? How do things keep getting worse? Why did we have kids? What nanny in Europe would take my children? Do I even have an ounce of parenting skills in me?
That might seem dramatic to some, but for those of you who have been through this, you get it! Everything falls apart and things just cave-in. I can easily say this December has been one of the most stressful months of my life. Business, kids, family, sickness, med school, personal things…etc…all adds up to a not so great ending to 2016.
Now, I know I have much to be grateful for and my problems are nothing compared to the next. But….when you’re in a rut, its hard to get out. It seems like you’re the only one going through something when its actually happening. People say nap when your kids nap. Well, that doesn’t work because I have two children who don’t nap at the same time. Church says, you need rest! Scripture says” All those who are weak and weary come to me, and I will give you rest.” Well, all that stuff sounds great but I can’t just leave Andrew home with a sick two-year-old and a nursing baby and say, “Peace out! I need to leave for the weekend to rest and be with Jesus.” No….I’m a mom with responsibilities and I don’t have the ability to do that. So how do I even find rest, get rested, go up from here, or enjoy my life in these rough months?
Being a mom is such hard work and one of the things I have to do is CONSTANTLY remind myself that I am doing the Lord’s work in my family. Something that helps me (besides a Moscow Mule and the newest episode of a favorite show) is to stop comparing myself to other moms and to know that a lot of moms are going through the exact same thing as me (or even having a harder time!). I can feel so alone and helpless. But the second I realize this will pass, this is just a season, and I have friends going through the same thing that maybe have three kids instead of two, everything seems like it’s going to be okay. I can buckle down and get through this season!
Anyways, with all that being said there’s no magical phrase, workout, drink, scripture, or pump up song that can solve the problem of a horrible mom month. Just know that when you’re in a dark place, you can’t stand your kids, you don’t know why you wanted kids, that this too shall pass….and I’m probably going through it with you (along with 5 other moms you know) 🙂 You’re doing awesome mommas, and those babies love you and appreciate you and couldn’t live life without you. I know they can’t communicate that to us yet, but just know that’s how it is! 

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